Bring Jeff to deliver an engaging virtual or distanced talk for your organization, community, campus, classroom or space about our concepts of gender, race, healthy versus harmful ideas of manhood, and how men can strive to be allies! Jeff’s approach is to help us embrace the difference we can make. (Scroll down for examples of Jeff’s talks and virtual talk options.)
Since 2007, Jeff has been talking to audiences of all walks of life across North America, creating a warm and welcoming environment to take on challenging conversations we face today, and inspire new ideas of manhood where we live, work, study, worship or play! We will look at ways to create a culture of learning, caring, change, true teamwork , individual inclusion and collective success!
Possible Talks and Virtual Talks:
MEN BUILDING EMOTIONAL MUSCLE
Just as we build physical muscle, we can learn to build or re-build and strengthen our emotional literacy like a muscle. Being in touch with what we are feeling is our strength. Empathy is the muscle that leads to taking action and finding connection. As men, we can go to the ‘Emotional Gym’ together, learn to lean on one another to have hard conversations, support one another, and develop our emotional literacy. We can spot one another as we learn how to nurture and grow our relationships, connections and friendships.
STRIVING TO BE AN ALLY: BEING A HELPER VERSUS A FIXER
Now is the time to build bridges of understanding across oceans of difference experiences. How can we work together to champion societal change, and further inclusive spaces where we work, live, study, and play? As men wanting to solve or fix problems, how can we also embrace the value of being a helper or follower or volunteer: going from “I Got This!” to “i Got You!”
Through an engaging presentation, personal stories and discussion, Jeff Perera invites us to sit with the hard conversations, and to move from awareness to action as we strive to be an Ally in both our personal and professional lives.
MEN RESPECTING WOMEN’S EMOTIONAL PPE
Just like Men learned to wear PPE to protect ourselves from the virus, we can also learn to respect the layers of ’emotional protection’ women and non-binary people wear to navigate everyday interactions online, in public, or in private, in order to avoid potential exposure to harm or violence. We can learn to have a healthy impact that allows others to trust us inside their emotional bubbles. Men’s: Let’s talk about Emotional PPE.
DRAWING MAPS TO MANHOOD
More than ever, people today are having conversations about our ideas of, and ideals for manhood. The reality is there are few models of possibility in many of our lives as men and young men, men we can talk with or give us an example of what our own unique journey of manhood could look like.
Jeff Perera invites us to discuss ways forward for men where we work, live, play and study. Jeff has worked for over ten years to inspire transformative everyday conversations about what positive and mindful manhood can look like, building our empathy ’muscles’ to help rather than fix, embracing our full potential, and how to ‘be the lesson in action’. A way forward begins with us, within us.
THE LADDER OF MANHOOD
A talk where Jeff illustrates how the rituals and path we set for men and boys to achieve manhood are like a ladder we climb which is rigged to fail us all. He challenges us to rethink harmful ideas that blaze the trail in our self-defeating pursuit of identity as men. What are the traditions handed down here? What do you want them to be? Where are you on this ladder based on various aspects of your identity? Jeff explores how all this reinforces a certain definition of manhood that limits us all. Jeff encourages men to embrace new models of manhood and forge a new path forward. Together we look at how men and young men can become part of a change that impacts us all where we work, live and study.
MEN COPING WITH SOCIAL DISTANCING AND ISOLATION
Jeff wrote this piece for men to develop ‘emotional immunity’ and cope with the motions and emotions of social isolation during the COVID19 pandemic in healthy versus harmful ways towards women and children we are in isolation with. Bring Jeff to discuss why it’s important to ‘avoid the virus but not our feels’.
THE GENDER OF SUCCESS AND FAILURE
We have assigned a gender to our concepts of success and failure in all arenas of life: defining so-called masculine traits as those of success, and treating human traits that we deem feminine as those of failure, Bring Jeff to talk on how these concepts impact and limit us from the boardroom to the dating scene, and how we can instead nurture and develop collaboration, empathy, and healthy communication between people of all genders.
WHY DO MEN?
“Why do men just abandon responsibilities, or emotionally distance when they are stressed or overwhelmed? Why do men react to rejection with verbal, and sometimes physical, violence? Why do men randomly volunteer to share agitating opinions I never asked for? Why do men become aggressively defensive?“
Jeff takes on the hard questions around why men do what we do in all aspects of everyday life. For people who work professionally with men and young men in a variety of situations and environments (from educators to social services staff), Jeff will walk us through why men display the behaviour, attitudes and actions we do. This will come not from a place of making excuses or shaming men and boys, but to discuss how we can further support men towards change, and encourage men to do the ‘heavy lifting’ together around growth and developing our emotional literacy, This talk helps build bridges of understanding between people of all genders, because we ultimately believe in men and our ability to grow and do better.
be the lesson in action.
About Jeff Perera
In a time of divides and tension, it is time to build bridges of understanding across our oceans of difference. We need to inspire Men in an engaging way to ‘Be The Lesson in Action’ and strive to become models of possibility for other men. Jeff is a speaker, writer and facilitator, who since 2008 has delivered keynotes, talks and workshops for tens of thousands of people across North America and beyond about gender, masculinity, empathy-building, and men helping end gender-based violence.
Whether in the boardroom, on campus, or the locker room, we need more examples of positive ways to be a man today. As a speaker with the National Speakers Bureau, Jeff delivers interactive talks for team leaders and groups within various organizations, conferences and community spaces, as well as grade school, high school, college and university students. Jeff discusses how society’s unattainable and harmful ideas of masculinity impact people of all genders, as well as ways forward and positive maps to manhood. From Rogers Media, Vidyard, Canada Post, to numerous post-secondary spaces, conferences, and organizations, Jeff creates space for people of all genders to explore being ‘the lesson in action’!
Jeff has delivered two TEDx talks on Masculinity and men’s troubled pursuits of identity: Words Speak Louder Than Actions looking at the power of gendered words, and The Ladder of Manhood which explores the male pursuit of identity and how too many men are fluent in a language of violence. Jeff started Higher Unlearning as an online space to explore how ideas of gender and masculinity impact us in everyday life. Jeff also contributes articles to Huffington Post. He previously worked at the White Ribbon Campaign and with Next Gen Men, has organized dozens of gender/masculinity-related events, founded and curated the first four ‘What Makes a Man’ Conferences and was event director for the first TEDxWomen event in Toronto, Canada. He was named to Racism Free Ontario’s Top 100 Person of Colour list spotlighting anti-racism activists.
Take a look at Jeff’s appearances
on podcasts, in articles, TEDx talks, and other media interviews!
Take a look at Jeff’s appearances on podcasts, in articles, and other media interviews!