How Young Men Speak in a Language of Violence: ‘How to Fight’ by Carlos Andrés Gómez

Men and boys worldwide are caught in cycles and storms that leave us speaking to one another in a language of violence…


 let’s start something.

Higher Unlearning proudly presents:

‘How To Fight’ by Carlos Andrés Gómez.
Video by Dennis Lieu.




Carlos Andrés Gómez

Award-winning poet, actor, and writer Carlos Andrés Gómez is a gifted storyteller with a captivating voice whose power resonates equally on the live stage and on the page. In one of his most moving spoken-word poems ‘How To Fight’ , Gómez recounts a confrontation he once had after accidentally bumping into another man at a club. Just as they were about to fight, Gómez experienced an unexplainable surge of emotion that made his eyes well up with tears. Everyone at the scene jumped back, as if his crying and showing vulnerability was as if he pulled out a grenade. Like many men in our society, Gómez grew up believing that he had to be ready to fight at all times, treat women as objects, and close off his emotional self. It wasn’t until he discovered acting that he began to see the true cost of squelching one’s emotions—and how aggression dominates everything that young males are taught. Watch Carlos’s TEDx talk ‘Man Up: The Gift of Fear’ 

Inspired by the award-winning poet and actor’s acclaimed one-man play, Man Up: Cracking the Code of Modern Manhood  is Carlos’ powerful coming-of-age memoir that redefines masculinity for the twenty-first-century male. 

“Man Up” (Gotham Books, an imprint of Penguin).

Now available for Pre-Order:



Higher Unlearning

Higher Unlearning is an online space for us to discuss how ideas of manhood & masculinity affect us in everyday situations and scenarios. Founded by Jeff Perera of the White Ribbon Campaign. Higher Unlearning allows for folks from all walks of life to contribute interactive articles, stories, testimonials, essays, photo essays and videos on how ideas of gender limit and impact us all in a variety of ways. Watch Jeff’s TEDx talk ‘Words Speak Louder Than Actions’.



Video by Dennis Lieu


Coming Soon: Behind The Masc


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